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Thursday, August 21, 2008

Standing... Still Standing... Was Standing...

Ok...

lets get to my drinking problem...

Alright

I love drinking...

Its the best thing to do when you are bored/stressed/chilling/slacking/did i say bored?/etc...

And wats better?

Havin a friend join you when you are drunk...

haha...
the fun you have never ends...

lol

everything is all fun and joy...

till you puke!!!

AAARGH!!!!

how i wish i can take shot after shot and still remember the exact value of the speed of light...

but lets face it...

i wouldn' even know that shit if i were sober as a priest...
Drinking is not really a problem to me...

and it never has been...

trust me...

i am not your typical tamileh who kaysiao after he drinks...

all i do is smile like a jackass... and laugh at everything...

It is so fun...

Let me introduce you to the different stages...

Firstly you start...

this is when the shirt comes off and you brag about how many shots you took the last time you drank...

this is also the time when your friends whip out photos of your drunken escapades...

and prove to you that you are still a doink...

The first five glasses are RAW/NEAT...

this means there is no mixture...

just pure, burning, intoxicating, mind-boggling alcohol...
if you get past the first five then the rest is mixed with coke or sprite or whatever mixture prefered...

And then there is the Tipsy/Im Not drunk yet stage...

this is when you know what you are doing but others don't...

you tend to talk sense and you suddenly overflow with words of wisdom...

at this stage people usually let loose...

but good frenz usually load more alcohol into your body...

Just to see you Piss Drunk and laugh at the photos during gatherings... BASTARDS!!!!

This is also when the shooters such as the tequila comes out...

And as you know it...

If you wanna be Gung Ho...

Then...

YOU'RE FUCKED!!!

Then there is the drunk stage...

this is when your friends don't know what the fuck you are up to...

AND SO ARE YOU...

they laugh at you...

and you enjoy the limelight thinking its all part of the fun...

BUT GUESS WHAT...

WAIT TILL YOU SEE THE PICTURES...

THEN YOU WOULD REALISE WHAT A NUMBNUT YOU ARE...



LOL...

and then the puking part comes in...

The infamous Merlion...

you burp to force some air out and the stale taste of the malt in the alcohol gets burped out too...

this leads to vomit!!!

the most fascinating and wonderful vomits are those:
-You did on yourself...

- On your friend...

- Or the long straight sprouts that shoot out like that of linda blair in Exorcist...

I had my fair share of all three...

im sorry Mono...

I dun care if it messes ur Sex Appeal...

but yea...

i vomited on him...

btw he is my cuz...

ladies take note...

When the bottles hit the floor, there's definately action fo' sho'...

or at least you end up hugging the toilet bowl...



finally...

The next day...

A hangover and lots of pictures that will haunt you for the rest of your life...



haha...
Drinking IS THE SHIT!!!

CHEERS!!!

Drink Responsibly...





Monday, August 4, 2008

My Ambition...


I've had it with lame jobs like doctors and lawyers...


i wanna be a pornstar!!!


but then...


with my current body...


its out of reach...


so here goes anything...


My ambition is to be a member of jackass...


I am infatuated by those dumb guys!!!


JHONNY KNOXVILLE, BAM MARGERA, RYANN DUNN...


Freaking cool people!!!


IM NOT GAY!!!


I just like dumb people nowadays...


I wanna brand my ass or clip my ass together or freeze my balls to an iced horse!!!


they are way too cool for school...


so guess wat?


im gonna drop out of RP...


im gonna join johnny and guys...


WOOHHOOOO!!!!


IM gonna get a P.H.D in Jackassin'


Saturday, August 2, 2008

Public transport my foot....


Have you ever wished you can throw away your EZ-LINK card?

Do you go through sleepless nights thinking about cars?

Everytime a modified lancer crosses you... Do you wanna punch the driver?
I know its hard to admit...
But you are suffering from haventgetlicenceitis....














But you are not alone...














I am with you...














Seeing those undeserving drivers on the road makes me wish i had my licence...














There are three types of drivers my dad and i never fail to criticse..
Firstly...

The idiot on the phone...

He never fails to get on our nerves... he talks animatedly and starts signalling late... to add insult to injury he can still stare at you as if you are at fault... Not only that... he hogs the fast lane and he thinks that the earpiece is for no-brainers...
Well guess wat?
I have news for you asshole... u and ur business buddies can shove it... give us space to move faggot!!
Well this brings me to the next group of people...
The Ah Bengs in their souped up Civics...

Cutting in cutting out racing with other idiots...
Guess what?
i dun wanna criticise you...
im also young blood mah!!!
i also gonna race...
lol
anyway...
race also use nice car la...
dun use hyundai or wat to race la...
damn retarded u knw...
for ppl who dun like it...










BLAME TOKYO DRIFT!!!


















now to the people i hate the most!!!!



MAT REMPIT!!!!



U think u so cool ah faggots!



drive bloody sparks and waves then act cool...



think u own the road ah?



u pay the least road tax and then hog the road...



and u buggers ah pampered way too much...



anything also traffic law protect you...



get a life la...



use hayabusa at least nvm...



boon siew honda!!



WTF???










IDIOTS!!!


anyway...


now time for me to focus on passing first...


so gonna drive...


even if it kills me...


Friday, July 25, 2008

Finding Emo....

Alright... Another post after a long time...

Well i guess you normal people would have realised that emo has been a trend that has died down recently...

And God am I Glad!!!

See i love metal...
And i love gothic culture...
but ever sice these cheap faggy imitations of goth came around...
life was never the same...

Look at these losers...
Gay, Faggy, Girly and they probably kiss each other....

but we can't call them those nasty things...
coz they are emokids...

Hey, Losers... Get a life!!! Gayness is not an Emotion!!!
Well, thats how they behave... Yet lets have a look at their sense of style...

They wear shirts that are 2 sizes below their actual size...

They have long sissy fringes that they flick back to imitate vocalists in emo bands...

They wear eye-liner...

and the best thing is that....

they wear skinny jeans... bought at some cheap ass store...

Their fashion is so screwed up!!! Fuck Emo!!! Its just an excuse for boys to act like girls!!!



Alright... now lets scrutinize their behaviour...

They write lyrics all day long...

they.type.like.this.as.if.every.word.they.say.might.be.their.last.

and you may have probably heard them say cheesy quotes...

like...


"If roses are supposed to be beautiful... Why do they have thorns?"

"I like to walk in the rain... Coz it hides my tears..."

"Whats the sense of wishing for something when I always just wish it away?"

Know wat?
Nobody cares!!!
And...
If you have said any one of the above quotes... You must be emo...
and now the part that angers me the most...

They cut themselves... A lot... But they just won't die!!!


WTF!!!

Why dun you just slash your wrists and die... you filthy scums!!!! the world would literally be happier without people like you... But i guess you guys are just too faggy to wanna die... so you cut yourselves like little gay dipshits...

You guys are like cockroaches... YOU JUST WOULDN"T DIE!!! And nobody likes you!!!!




Well... At least its dying...

I just cannot stand those gay brats and their eye-liner wearing gayfriends....


The world would definately be much happier without them and their sappy songs about dying!!!






And you should do it too...
Signing off...

Sunday, July 20, 2008

My Goal to reach before December 2008...

OK here i am in my room, without my shirt on...



I realised i have this undesirable body...



I have stupid man boobs and the united nations for a tummy...



and...



I got to admit...



I am feeling scared...



I see to many good-looking men out there...



Friends of mine whom looked like little pipsqueaks now look like buff chunky men...



And here i am...



Gorging on chips as i blog...



And so i have decided i am going to lose some weight...



But as i read in an article...



Losing weight is as much of a mental issue then it is a physical one...



You decide to lose weight... and you start running and hitting the gym...



And then...



the next week comes...



You are back to square one... Sitting in front of the TV stuffing your face with food...



I need the motivation...



And so..



I am going to try something new...



The article i read gave me an insight into what i am going to do...



Its called the GRP method



G: Goal

R: Reason

P: Plan



My goal is to reach at least 80kgs... It can help me find clothes easily and also help me make my muscles more visible... I have to say i do have muscles... but my fats bock the from being visible... Aargh!!!



My Reason... Is to be able to look good physically and also get more clothes to suit my style... i also dream of this lean muscular body that turns chicks on on first sight... trust me... Mine now, Is not exactly a body to be admired...



My plan is to run and hit the gym every alternate days... this helps me to get fit... and also i am going to involve Dinmak into this... we are gonna abstain from food and starve ourselves so much that supermodels are gonna get jealous...



Well...



Lets just see if things go well...



If i reach 80kg or below...



Im gonna reward myself...



With a nice huge handburger from Botak Jones!!!!



Until then... We shall see...



Watch This Space!!!
As for you buddy... I am gonna miss you... You and I... We had something special... Guess i have to move on to reach my goals... Parting is such sweet sorrow... Oh Screw it... I am gonna eat you anyway... Resistance is futile!!!

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Old Is Gold... Or at least that is what i was told...

Have you seen the amount of retro people on the street lately?

It Pisses me off!!

ITS 2008 YOU MORONS!!! NOT 1973!!!

Retro fashion is back and it is taking its toll...

All you see is Starsky and Hutch wannabes... And minahs who think they are Amy Winehouse.

Retro only suits some...

GET IT IN YOUR HEADS LOSERS!!!

WEARING A BELL-BOTTOM IS NEVER COOL!!!

Looking at all this made me wanna puke...

I mean...

This fashion is from my father's era...

Was he really that dumb to follow these lame ass trends?

I mean it was cool then...

Back then Hippies were in, and people smoked pot 24/7 listening to blaring rock guitar ...

Either from Ted Nugent, Jimi Hendrix or Jerry Garcia...

I mean they were cool people...

but i just cannot think of my parents being as cool as them...

Its like saying the indian accent is the thing that turns women on...

Sorry Mom and Dad

but...

It just NEVER HAPPENS!!!

And to my Sis...

Please!

I am begging you... I know you love the retro style and all that....

But please think of ur kids in the future...

Do you want them to be traumatised by the lack of style you had?

Think About It...

Well at least you look better then most people in those clothes, but still please...

I dun wanna be seen with a retro retard!!!


Jimi We Love You!!!

Thursday, July 17, 2008

I See Stupid People... All The Time...


Alright here we go again...

I was kinda pissed of at the growing number of idiots in our society...

Why?

Why are there so few smart people left?

Just the other day i was in a 7-11 and i saw this young secondary school boy trying to buy a pack of cigarette... he was in his uniform and worst of all in short pants...

the shopkeeper declined him... and guess what...

he came back... this time without his top half of his uniform...

I bet that made a lot of difference...

Thanks alot Dumbfuck...
People like you are the reason 7-11 asks for photo ID...

anyway on the topic of dumbness...

I realised that there is no limit to dumbness...

As long as there are people out there have unanswered questions... there would be people who try to answer it through experimentation...

And trust me people can get really dumb!!!

take this lady for example...




How far do you think she may have went?

AND THIS IS NATIONAL TV FOR GOD'S SAKE.... WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU WOMAN?

Dumb: Conspicuously unintelligent; stupid

Well... lets not jump to conclusions...

I can get pretty dumb myself...

Its not always rainbows and butterflies you know...

There is a bit of dumbness in all of us... But it is how we potray it that matters...
It does not matter how clever you are...

You are dumb!!!
Appreciate it...
After all laughing at dumb people is a world-wide hobby... Why the hell do we sit and watch reruns of America's Funniest Videos or for that matter America's Next Top Model all the time?

Coz we love to laugh at dumb people...

















Lets face it...

















A little bit of dumbness is alright...











Yea and that is perfectly true...




We all know one...




Therefore it kinda helped blogging about it...




I now feel sorry for dumb people...




I know you did not mean it...




Its alright...




I forgive you...



Well we all live in a world of Idiocy...


So to heck with it....


But please...


for the love of god...


Stop embarassing yourselves in public...


Chiaozzz!